This analogy of social connection to exercise seems like stereotypically the perspective of an introvert, i.e. someone for whom being around people naturally costs energy rather than giving energy. I'm an introvert myself so it resonates with me, but I wonder how a more extroverted person would see it. Has there been a change in the Big Five introversion prevalence over the last few decades? Seems probably checkable and worth checking, though I would be surprised if so.
I find the theory that people have differing levels of need for social connection more useful than the introvert/extrovert dichotomy. Not that they're mutually exclusive and not that the intro idea isn't useful. But for me personally I find certain kinds of socialization more energizing than others and pretty much all socialization somewhat draining so the muscle thing feels explanatory to me. But the question of whether extroverts experience socialization differently brings up that different people experience exercise differently as well. Many interesting questions here.
Here's an idea--not meant entirely in jest. Have group therapy type meetings for people who are seriously withdrawn, where everyone wears blindfolds to avoid eye contact, and perhaps have limited opportunities to hug and be hugged or things like that. This idea being to allow a cautions adjustment to the pleasure of social interaction, without having to face all of it's frightening aspects at once.
This may not be the only source of serious social anxiety, but psychiatrists beleive that babies given inadequate social intraction with their mothers--who are left alone to much--adjust to beign alone, and manage to entertain themselves to some extent. When they grow up, they still find being alone to be fundamentally less stresful than social interaction, even though they may long for the latter. They may be uncomfortable with intense eye contact, physical affection, and similar social interactions, even though they are at least somewhat aware of a desire for these things. It's just always easier--albeit lonely--to retreat into isolation.
In San Francisco you can pay $200/mo for a dedicated space to meet your need for social connection, because of course you can: https://sfstandard.com/community/this-new-200-per-month-friendship-startup-already-has-a-waitlist/
This analogy of social connection to exercise seems like stereotypically the perspective of an introvert, i.e. someone for whom being around people naturally costs energy rather than giving energy. I'm an introvert myself so it resonates with me, but I wonder how a more extroverted person would see it. Has there been a change in the Big Five introversion prevalence over the last few decades? Seems probably checkable and worth checking, though I would be surprised if so.
I find the theory that people have differing levels of need for social connection more useful than the introvert/extrovert dichotomy. Not that they're mutually exclusive and not that the intro idea isn't useful. But for me personally I find certain kinds of socialization more energizing than others and pretty much all socialization somewhat draining so the muscle thing feels explanatory to me. But the question of whether extroverts experience socialization differently brings up that different people experience exercise differently as well. Many interesting questions here.
Here's an idea--not meant entirely in jest. Have group therapy type meetings for people who are seriously withdrawn, where everyone wears blindfolds to avoid eye contact, and perhaps have limited opportunities to hug and be hugged or things like that. This idea being to allow a cautions adjustment to the pleasure of social interaction, without having to face all of it's frightening aspects at once.
This may not be the only source of serious social anxiety, but psychiatrists beleive that babies given inadequate social intraction with their mothers--who are left alone to much--adjust to beign alone, and manage to entertain themselves to some extent. When they grow up, they still find being alone to be fundamentally less stresful than social interaction, even though they may long for the latter. They may be uncomfortable with intense eye contact, physical affection, and similar social interactions, even though they are at least somewhat aware of a desire for these things. It's just always easier--albeit lonely--to retreat into isolation.