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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Cathy Reisenwitz

I’m glad alternative relationships are becoming more accepted, but I think this could exacerbate social inequality and reinforce social hierarchy. Monogamy culture is like sexual socialism for mediocre men. I think without it, you will have average woman marry average men for emotional labor and security, while having sex with higher status men, and not requiring much from them. The could lead to a lot of resentment( just look at dating app discourse), and this inequality like economic inequality could lead to further destabilization.

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I wound up favoring don’t ask, don’t tell. I’ve been “ethical poly” and I think it has drawbacks. First, there are politics and power plays inside of these relationships. Even if you’re sincere it doesn’t mean others will be. No amount of talking and processing is going to handle it. A big issue is New Relationship Energy (limerance.) In other words, falling in love with one person- the sex makes this work exponentially. Her or his partner may try to with draw this partner or become very resentful. Again, processing can’t really handle this. It’s primordial. The poly form in general seems to go with college-age culture. One thing I was always able to resist was actually living with poly partners. Good luck, but I think affairs are actually better if you must. Try to resist those too.

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