I often second-guess myself in relationships. Am I too needy? Am I unreasonable? Am I asking for too much? Am I offering too little? Is this why I’m alone? Can I ever be made happy? Will I always find fault and focus on it? I think what’s at the heart of these questions is, “Do I deserve this?” I read something great a while ago about why we victim-blame. It’s a way to assert control over an unpredictable, out-of-control world. We tell ourselves that the victim is at fault because we need to believe there’s something we can do to avoid becoming victims ourselves. If we believe that we can do everything right and still have something terrible happen to us that’s a terrifying thought. So we find fault with victims so we can function.
"Maybe I do need more assurances that I’m loved than most people. Maybe that’s because I am holding out on myself. Maybe I am waiting to love myself. Waiting until I’m strong enough and accomplished enough and am not so damn anxious all the time. Maybe it’s hard to believe anyone could be in love with me because I have such trouble inhabiting that headspace for any length of time. I am obsessed with myself, sure. But in love? Never. I’m too aware of my flaws. Too suspicious of my motives. I’m afraid of me. I’m afraid that deep down I am not good"
God, how do you write thoughts directly from my brain?
Sex, men, women is natural. It can be beautiful and pleasurable. In the right arrangement.
But some have labeled , used it for personal gain,or pleasure, or to hurt. That's wrong .
We should share and love, and please one and other
"Maybe I do need more assurances that I’m loved than most people. Maybe that’s because I am holding out on myself. Maybe I am waiting to love myself. Waiting until I’m strong enough and accomplished enough and am not so damn anxious all the time. Maybe it’s hard to believe anyone could be in love with me because I have such trouble inhabiting that headspace for any length of time. I am obsessed with myself, sure. But in love? Never. I’m too aware of my flaws. Too suspicious of my motives. I’m afraid of me. I’m afraid that deep down I am not good"
God, how do you write thoughts directly from my brain?