May 25 • 2M

Second guide time! Dirty Talk 101: A beginner's guide to sexier speech

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Welcome to Sex and the State, a newsletter about power. I’m a writer working on decriminalizing and destigmatizing all things sex. I use evidence and stories to interrogate existing power structures to propose better ways of relating. To support my work, buy a guidebuy a subscriptionfollow me on OnlyFans, or just share this post!

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My first published guide, 3 Steps to Better Boinking, sold 49 copies since I published it last week! I’ve just published my second guide, Dirty Talk 101: A beginner's guide to sexier speech.

From the description:

If you have any interest in dirty talk, or have a partner (or multiple partners) who want you to talk dirty, this guide is for you. It’s also for people who want to talk dirty with their partners but don’t know how to bring it up or where to begin. It can be a great conversation starter to read together and discuss.

Sexy words can build your anticipation for sexy times. Sexy words can also be sexy times. Hearing sexy words can help you feel confident, sexy, and desirable. They can build up your confidence. They can give you a safe way to ask for what you want. 

There’s no right or wrong way to talk dirty. This guide offers a description of how many people enjoy talking dirty and some suggestions that may help you more smoothly and effectively experiment to find growth, connection, learning, and pleasure through certain sexy words and phrases. 

This guide will walk you through how to break through the barriers to sexy talk, offer advice on how to get started trying to start to talk sexy, and offer some suggestions for themes and phrases to try today. 

As promised, paid Sex and the State readers will get a free link to this guide as well. Keep an eye out for that email.

For future guides, here are some topics I’m considering:

  • How to know when it’s time to open up

  • Sex etiquette, how to navigate sticky situations with aplomb 

  • BDSM for absolute beginners

  • 30 questions for better sex

If you have suggestions for guide topics, please let me know! Leave a comment or reply to this email.

I’m hoping to publish one of these per week in my little store. I’m really enjoying writing them. I think they’re helpful and they’re fun to write and research. I’m also spending time on r/sex, which is super interesting. I’m sure I’ll get back to writing more about politics eventually, but for now this is a nice rabbit trail.