I had some wins in the genetic lottery. I don't think I ever dated a guy who was "in my league" in the looks department. But they could keep up with me intellectually, were interesting people with hobbies and passions, and good senses of humor.
I stopped dating in college because I got married and we're monogamous. Sixteen years later, I can confirm that looks are not that important. They can't sustain anything beyond surface level attraction. I want to be physically attractive to my partner (and I'm plagued by the normal insecurities of millennial women), but he cares a lot more about what the packaging contains. I can't fathom my husband ever falling into the incel trap because he's always thought of women as fellow human beings.
I perceive women as outrageously shallow. Not that men can't be but I don't see any exemption on the female side. Men should absolutely looks maxed until they turn blue in the face.
I ended up blocking a mutual back on Twitter over a similar argument. I think there are a ton of reasons the dating market is unfair to men, but he thought it all boiled down to women only being physically attracted to some small minority of men (and for all women it is the same minority) of men. Nothing would change his mind and he kept bringing it up.
Also, it took awhile, but I was able to leverage being generally nice and pretty funny into a successful love life despite being weirdly tall, kind of chubby, and spending way too much time in my own head.
Every waitress knows being nice and paying attention leads to a better tip.
A relevant xkcd to your (and my) motive for writing: https://xkcd.com/386/
brilliant article fun read :-)
I had some wins in the genetic lottery. I don't think I ever dated a guy who was "in my league" in the looks department. But they could keep up with me intellectually, were interesting people with hobbies and passions, and good senses of humor.
I stopped dating in college because I got married and we're monogamous. Sixteen years later, I can confirm that looks are not that important. They can't sustain anything beyond surface level attraction. I want to be physically attractive to my partner (and I'm plagued by the normal insecurities of millennial women), but he cares a lot more about what the packaging contains. I can't fathom my husband ever falling into the incel trap because he's always thought of women as fellow human beings.
Sorry, I have to be that asshole.
"graduated *from* high school"
I will now be quiet.
Thank you for the amazing post, as always.
Yea. Have they never heard of rich men?
I definitely think women care WAY WAY more about men's looks than they let on.
I perceive women as outrageously shallow. Not that men can't be but I don't see any exemption on the female side. Men should absolutely looks maxed until they turn blue in the face.
"In no scenario is the average woman as shallow as the average man."
I think they're equal or worse. I actually believe that.
I ended up blocking a mutual back on Twitter over a similar argument. I think there are a ton of reasons the dating market is unfair to men, but he thought it all boiled down to women only being physically attracted to some small minority of men (and for all women it is the same minority) of men. Nothing would change his mind and he kept bringing it up.
Also, it took awhile, but I was able to leverage being generally nice and pretty funny into a successful love life despite being weirdly tall, kind of chubby, and spending way too much time in my own head.