"Similarly, nothing about men ever made them intrinsically incapable of succeeding at domestic and emotional labor. They’ve simply been excluded and socialized to believe they are inferior in these areas."
And to believe that *those areas are inferior*, i.e. that they are unworthy and slightly shameful pursuits for a Real Man (tm), even one who would be good at them. The mix of those two types of inferiority complex probably varies a lot, but I think there's typically some of both.
There's an analogy here too, maybe a hopeful one, maybe a mixed one, to women's increasing socialization toward success in education and paid work. Initially women might have been encouraged to "do those things just like a man," but increasingly they have come to instead demand that education and paid work be reshaped so that they can be done differently in ways that are more congenial to women. This may have both upsides and downsides-- Richard Hanania for example is very eloquent on what he thinks the downsides are, I'm not endorsing his whole case but it's worth considering.
What if the same evolution happened around men's participation in domestic and emotional labor? How might those realms of social life change if, instead of or in addition to emulating women's well-socialized skills in those areas, men were encouraged to make them our own and reshape them to our sensibilities? Might be upsides and downsides there too!
Ya! I totally agree that work and education are changing in ways that make them suck less for women and that while this is likely on-net good that doesn’t mean there aren’t some downsides. Of Boys and Men does a good job showing that education especially is too inhospitable to boys.
And I really love the idea of domestic labor changing to suck less for men.
Many men tend to view the “homemaking” that women do as dusting and doing laundry. What many don’t see or value is that homemaking is exactly that -- making a home. It encompasses all the activities that create a safe, comfortable and homey environment from putting up family pictures to organizing holidays and family events, to supporting kids and husbands to cooking meals and creating traditions. All the things that make a home, but don’t tend to be rated highly by those who benefit from them but don’t put in the effort to make them happen.
It isn’t just sorting white from colored clothes. And I think that is the challenge for getting men to embrace “domestic and emotional labor.” The emotional factor is at least as important as the domestic.
"Similarly, nothing about men ever made them intrinsically incapable of succeeding at domestic and emotional labor. They’ve simply been excluded and socialized to believe they are inferior in these areas."
And to believe that *those areas are inferior*, i.e. that they are unworthy and slightly shameful pursuits for a Real Man (tm), even one who would be good at them. The mix of those two types of inferiority complex probably varies a lot, but I think there's typically some of both.
There's an analogy here too, maybe a hopeful one, maybe a mixed one, to women's increasing socialization toward success in education and paid work. Initially women might have been encouraged to "do those things just like a man," but increasingly they have come to instead demand that education and paid work be reshaped so that they can be done differently in ways that are more congenial to women. This may have both upsides and downsides-- Richard Hanania for example is very eloquent on what he thinks the downsides are, I'm not endorsing his whole case but it's worth considering.
What if the same evolution happened around men's participation in domestic and emotional labor? How might those realms of social life change if, instead of or in addition to emulating women's well-socialized skills in those areas, men were encouraged to make them our own and reshape them to our sensibilities? Might be upsides and downsides there too!
Ya! I totally agree that work and education are changing in ways that make them suck less for women and that while this is likely on-net good that doesn’t mean there aren’t some downsides. Of Boys and Men does a good job showing that education especially is too inhospitable to boys.
And I really love the idea of domestic labor changing to suck less for men.
Many men tend to view the “homemaking” that women do as dusting and doing laundry. What many don’t see or value is that homemaking is exactly that -- making a home. It encompasses all the activities that create a safe, comfortable and homey environment from putting up family pictures to organizing holidays and family events, to supporting kids and husbands to cooking meals and creating traditions. All the things that make a home, but don’t tend to be rated highly by those who benefit from them but don’t put in the effort to make them happen.
It isn’t just sorting white from colored clothes. And I think that is the challenge for getting men to embrace “domestic and emotional labor.” The emotional factor is at least as important as the domestic.
100%. Men aren’t socialized to clue into emotions to the same extent women are.