Normally, I’d cancel any optional impending Zoom commitments if I thought I might cry. But this time I went for it. I told my friend at the top that I was very sad. Ostensibly, I was sad about being single and about my Thanksgiving plans. It was the Tuesday or Wednesday before Thanksgiving and my plan was to make porn. Most of the time I’m fine with being single and had been looking forward to the shoot. But sometimes I’m sad about things that don’t normally make me sad.
I recognize myself in this piece and I'm pretty clueless about what to do about it. I used to live a life where I had a several overlapping circles of friends and in the past decade, due to a variety of factors, they are almost all gone. Or the friendship has just gone dormant.
And yeah creating new relationships of those kinds are hard; I've never been the most trusting sort and I think that we have a general crisis of mistrust in our wider society.
It seems so strange to me that most of us are experiencing the same problem, to lesser or greater degrees, and that we're all stuck while the solution is each other. I suppose it's no stranger than the rest of this world.
Indeed; something of an enduring theme through much of pop culture at least:
“Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain't right” (Orbison)
And:
“All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?” (The Beatles)
And, something of a personal favourite:
“Seeking only workman's wages, I come looking for a job, but I get no offers.....
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there”. (Simon & Garfunkel)
Amen to that, brothers, amen to that.
And apropos of which, I happened to read your guest column on the topic over at the Honest Courtesan not long ago – I commend your honesty and that of Maggie: may your tribe increase. :-)
Though my experiences have generally been on that the other side of that fence, of that transaction. But I was often fortunate enough to talk to many of the escorts that I had engaged. And it was something of an enduring theme, it was a common thread running through many of their experiences with their other clients that so many of the latter were rather desperately lonely.
Rather a “funny” business in many ways. And it has its share of pathological aspects, and the experience on the client side can often seem like drinking salt water. But, as I once sort of “jested” with a woman escort agency owner, sex workers are often the unsung heroines – and heroes – of the mental health department. Think her response – ““Mental health, physical health -- and marriage counseling. Escorts do it all” – sort of justified that assessment. :-)
I recognize myself in this piece and I'm pretty clueless about what to do about it. I used to live a life where I had a several overlapping circles of friends and in the past decade, due to a variety of factors, they are almost all gone. Or the friendship has just gone dormant.
And yeah creating new relationships of those kinds are hard; I've never been the most trusting sort and I think that we have a general crisis of mistrust in our wider society.
It seems so strange to me that most of us are experiencing the same problem, to lesser or greater degrees, and that we're all stuck while the solution is each other. I suppose it's no stranger than the rest of this world.
Have you seen Mr. Robot?
Indeed; something of an enduring theme through much of pop culture at least:
“Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain't right” (Orbison)
And:
“All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?” (The Beatles)
And, something of a personal favourite:
“Seeking only workman's wages, I come looking for a job, but I get no offers.....
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there”. (Simon & Garfunkel)
Amen to that, brothers, amen to that.
And apropos of which, I happened to read your guest column on the topic over at the Honest Courtesan not long ago – I commend your honesty and that of Maggie: may your tribe increase. :-)
Though my experiences have generally been on that the other side of that fence, of that transaction. But I was often fortunate enough to talk to many of the escorts that I had engaged. And it was something of an enduring theme, it was a common thread running through many of their experiences with their other clients that so many of the latter were rather desperately lonely.
Rather a “funny” business in many ways. And it has its share of pathological aspects, and the experience on the client side can often seem like drinking salt water. But, as I once sort of “jested” with a woman escort agency owner, sex workers are often the unsung heroines – and heroes – of the mental health department. Think her response – ““Mental health, physical health -- and marriage counseling. Escorts do it all” – sort of justified that assessment. :-)