"I don't know what the fuck you just said little kid, but you reach out, touch a brother's heart." Watched that movie many times. I love Kevin Smith. He gets the Catholic toxicity.
Been wanting to contribute to this but have not had time until now.
I was raised Catholic. I was SA'd by the older step-brother of a friend who was intermittently tasked with watching he and I after school when I was 5-6. I didn't tell anyone about it until I was in my late 30's. I told my wife that it happened. I was still ashamed and fuckered up about it.
There were (and still are) very few days when I didn't think about it in some capacity. I really had to confront the extent of the trauma when my son was kindergarten age. For the first time I was able to get a objective lens on just how small and vulnerable I was when this happened. To say it was destabilizing is underselling it. So at 45 I jumped into talky and somatic therapy after becoming angry at someone who did something shitty at a play party. I saw red and could not down regulate for hours and hours.
It's monumentally fucked that something that was done to me atypically wired my brain and became something that hobbled my sexual development and instilled deep shame. At 13 in the 1980's I didn't know if I was going to be predisposed to behave certain ways. The most frightening was the idea that I would now automatically be a pedophile. Tough stuff to shoulder alone.
When your first sexual experience is not something consensual with someone your own age it saddles you with a massive burden that must be addressed and examined.
Now I (obvs) don't have a problem talking about it. Especially as an elder providing space and normalization that hopefully reduces the stigma.
Catholicism contributed to a family culture of silence and shame.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m so proud of you for facing it, talking about it, asking for help, and doing the work. Especially as a father. 💗💗💗
We must be about the same age, because Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was a constant source of quotes for my friends too!
The point about sexual shame really gets at how evil the whole "groomers" smear that right wing assholes have adopted is bound to have such evil consequences. Not only will abused kids have no way to describe what has happened to them and to know that they aren't bad because of what happened, but they are also having their ability to talk frankly and form relationships wit safe adults stripped away. Tragic all around.
"I don't know what the fuck you just said little kid, but you reach out, touch a brother's heart." Watched that movie many times. I love Kevin Smith. He gets the Catholic toxicity.
Been wanting to contribute to this but have not had time until now.
I was raised Catholic. I was SA'd by the older step-brother of a friend who was intermittently tasked with watching he and I after school when I was 5-6. I didn't tell anyone about it until I was in my late 30's. I told my wife that it happened. I was still ashamed and fuckered up about it.
There were (and still are) very few days when I didn't think about it in some capacity. I really had to confront the extent of the trauma when my son was kindergarten age. For the first time I was able to get a objective lens on just how small and vulnerable I was when this happened. To say it was destabilizing is underselling it. So at 45 I jumped into talky and somatic therapy after becoming angry at someone who did something shitty at a play party. I saw red and could not down regulate for hours and hours.
It's monumentally fucked that something that was done to me atypically wired my brain and became something that hobbled my sexual development and instilled deep shame. At 13 in the 1980's I didn't know if I was going to be predisposed to behave certain ways. The most frightening was the idea that I would now automatically be a pedophile. Tough stuff to shoulder alone.
When your first sexual experience is not something consensual with someone your own age it saddles you with a massive burden that must be addressed and examined.
Now I (obvs) don't have a problem talking about it. Especially as an elder providing space and normalization that hopefully reduces the stigma.
Catholicism contributed to a family culture of silence and shame.
Fuck all of that.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m so proud of you for facing it, talking about it, asking for help, and doing the work. Especially as a father. 💗💗💗
We must be about the same age, because Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was a constant source of quotes for my friends too!
The point about sexual shame really gets at how evil the whole "groomers" smear that right wing assholes have adopted is bound to have such evil consequences. Not only will abused kids have no way to describe what has happened to them and to know that they aren't bad because of what happened, but they are also having their ability to talk frankly and form relationships wit safe adults stripped away. Tragic all around.
That's a great point. It's so fucked up. I'm 37!
I just turned 37!