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JERF's avatar

I resonate with this post especially with your emphasis on presence, intimacy, and vulnerability. I believe tantric practices are helpful for the first two with bdsm contributing to the last ♥️💜♥️

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El Monstro's avatar

When I was younger I had pretty low self esteem about my attractiveness. I was short and skinny and nerdy and while I had blonde hair and blue eyes I didn't think anyone but men found me attractive. To a certain extent this was true but not to the extent that I thought it was.

I remember we use to have a "puppy pile" in my freshman year in college. It was where a group of young men and women would lie on the floor with the lights low and grope each other. It was a fun and harmless way to explore our sexuality. I really liked this one woman and we would often end up groping each other. I thought she was totally out of my league. Years later when I talked with her about this she said "Oh I wish you had told me, I was into you as well."

Sometimes lack of self esteem can really be a barrier to intimacy. This has happened more than once in my life. I finally got over it in my 30s. But also, I really did become more attractive as I matured, put on some weight and started being successful in my career. I believe that I am attractive today. But for a long time a lack of self esteem held me back from intimacy.

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