Welcome to Sex and the State, a newsletter about power. I’m a writer working on decriminalizing and destigmatizing all things sex. I use evidence and stories to interrogate existing power structures to propose better ways of relating. To support my work,
I felt that way once, just completely in love with everything about someone. We were both young, she was very young. We dated for three years and then she broke up with me when I started talking about marriage. We are still best friends.
When I started therapy my psychiatrist asked me “why didn’t you marry her”? And I said “you’d have to ask her.” So the next time we talked I asked her why. “I know dear, it was the biggest mistake of my life.”
Wow. This actually articulated something I’ve been trying to understand about myself. Thank you. I have more to think about now.
“I can’t settle because I’m obsessed with what I learn about myself and learn to appreciate about myself when people learn and appreciate different parts of me. If I can’t have a single person who appreciates everything then I will have a person who appreciates one thing and another who appreciates another thing.”
I’m reminded of Bonnie Raitt’s “a girl stays single/because she don’t like men/or maybe she likes them to much./me I like them not too much or too little/but times were easy and so was I/ was I in love with you or just in love with love?”
Highway run
I felt that way once, just completely in love with everything about someone. We were both young, she was very young. We dated for three years and then she broke up with me when I started talking about marriage. We are still best friends.
When I started therapy my psychiatrist asked me “why didn’t you marry her”? And I said “you’d have to ask her.” So the next time we talked I asked her why. “I know dear, it was the biggest mistake of my life.”
Wow. This actually articulated something I’ve been trying to understand about myself. Thank you. I have more to think about now.
“I can’t settle because I’m obsessed with what I learn about myself and learn to appreciate about myself when people learn and appreciate different parts of me. If I can’t have a single person who appreciates everything then I will have a person who appreciates one thing and another who appreciates another thing.”
I’m reminded of Bonnie Raitt’s “a girl stays single/because she don’t like men/or maybe she likes them to much./me I like them not too much or too little/but times were easy and so was I/ was I in love with you or just in love with love?”