Friday diary 42: Inhabiting my excellence

I asked my therapist for a thought for the week. At first he told me to inhabit my expertise. Which I did not really love, tbh. Expertise says “not beginner’s mind” to me. It says “not curious.” It says “staid.” I know, I know expertise doesn’t actually stand in opposition to any of that. One does not, generally speaking, acquire any real expertise without beginner’s mind, curiosity, and a willingness to change. But feelings are feelings and mine are still valid, damn it.

Then he used the word “excellence.” And that arose in me a different set of uncomfortable feelings.