Why real men look like trash

When I shared Most women don't realize how much dating sucks for men on Twitter my friend Nia responded thoughtfully. She pointed out that men often come across to women as slovenly and emotionally dis-regulated, especially on dating apps, which makes them considerably less attractive.

“Grooming, style, and mental hygiene are basic adult skills that can be worked on alone,” Nia wrote. “Men just haven't been socialized to prioritize those things b/c women are expected to pick up that slack. However if those same guys prioritized these ‘feminine’ skills for themselves, then things could even out more.”

I responded to Nia that I agreed, but also, this kind of advice is easy for women to give to men. Most men seem to know (if only subconsciously) that gender makes sure things are never that simple.