Probably there will be some of both.

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My friend in DC, the same one who pointed out to me that my “I own me.” tattoo is grammatically incorrect (it should say “I own myself.”) liked to say that most people have a book in them, but for most people, that’s exactly where it should stay. I think he was quoting Hitchens but my memory sucks.

On Twitter people are doing “reverse AMAs,” where you reply and the poster asks you a question. Another friend from my DC days, Abigail Devereaux, asked “What's the book you most want to write but feel unready to start?” I replied (and I’m linking for posterity) “Oooh good question. Definitely a memoir. I want it to be funny and challenging and cover my evangelical upbringing and sex work and political evolution. I want to talk about shame and power and evidence. I’ve started several times but I can’t get beyond an outline”

I have a complicated relationship with a lot of what I grew up in and believed. PTSD is a good way to summarize it.

At the same time, this memoir is something I want to speak to people who grew up like I did. I want to speak to them without hostility or condescension. I want to understand people who didn’t leave the South, Evangelicism, and conservatism. Why should they listen to me if I haven’t listened to them anytime lately?

Part of the reason I’m excited to move back is that it will make it easier for me to approach this part of America with curiosity. I think I’m finally in a place where I can be more curious than triggered.

I think. Probably there will be some of both.